The Portfolio

The Guy

What follows is a brief history of my history. I’ll continue to add to the briefness in my spare time.

I was born on December 12th, 1979 in Cleveland Ohio. At that time, I was the 4th child. I am now the middle of 7. I also have 38 first cousins. My parents are unapologetic for contributing to overpopulation, so I’ll do it for them. Sorry about that. When I was still sitting in a high chair, Mom would turn on The Muppet Show for me. (It was my favorite.) As soon as the theme music fired up, I would go ape shit. The happiest baby you’ve ever seen, almost strong enough to dance his high chair all the way to the linoleum floor. One time I even choked on a peppermint halfway through the song. You’ll have to ask Mom why she’s giving peppermints to a baby though. Speaking of which, both of my parent’s names are Terry. They are even spelled the same. I would think the most confusing thing about that would be the mail. “Who is this addressed to?” Maybe phone calls, but most people calling would know to ask for the “other” Terry. New subject. So, the best Christmas I ever had was when I was about six or seven. I didn’t have a single wrapped present under the tree. Instead, I just had dozens of He-Man action figures. Like, all of them. I had battle-damage He-Man, Moss Man, who smelled like moss, and even She-Ra. But she was lame. (A few years later I’d learn that she was not anatomically correct.) Soon after, I moved to Tennessee. A rural town called Greeneville, that had no Wal-Mart (yet) and two McDonalds. I was kind of shy before that. I did a lot of reading. I loved the Chronicles of Narnia. The Last Battle was one of my favorite books. That pretty much set the mood for my entire book reading career. Harry Potter, The Dark Tower, Eragon…yup, even Eragon. The movie may have sucked, but the cycle is worth a read.  In the sixth grade, I was nerding it up in class, reading Lord of the Rings or something, and this douchebag David Beets started picking on me. I like, lost my shit, and punched him in the face. From that moment, for some reason, I became a class clown…probably because it was funnier than it was scary. I’m not really a goof off anymore though, because I’m smarter and there’s a time and a place for everything. So don’t worry about me punching you in the face if you make fun of what I’m reading. I went to the principle’s office a lot too. (I had lunch detention 112 times my 8th grade year. Second only to Adam Hatcher, who had something like 168.) In high school, I played saxaphone and marched in the marching band. I even had a solo in jazz band one year to “The Locomotion.” Needless to say, it rocked. But during one of our performances, we had to wear our marching band uniforms. And low and behold, the flipping zipper broke. These aren’t small zippers either. Marching band zippers basically go from the nipples to the crotch. So I had to stand up in front of an audience of peers with my pants unzipped, playing this solo…so you know what? I just let my freak flag fly and really got into it. I was dancing my ass off and flashing the crowd at the same time. (I had underwear on, it’s cool.) After High School, I decided not to become lame sauce and went to college. And since I couldn’t decide on where to go, I ended up BEING lame sauce and went to East Tennessee State University. I basically went there to hang out with my high school friends. And I did. But that’s cool. I sorta f’d up my first semester and ended it with a .9 grade point average. (And no, I had hardly did ANY drugs up to that point. I think I was busy playing Final Fantasy Tactics on the Playstation till all hours of the night. Once again, lame.) But in the next few years I brought my GPA back up to 3.4. Really, College is just  High School you pay for. It wasn’t that hard as long as you listen and go to class. All throughout college…and the Creative Circus…I worked at a Blockbuster Video. You may remember them. Brick and mortar stores that let you borrow, at a fee, vhs and dvds. It seemed like a natural fit. In High School I worked at a video store/tanning salon. No joke. And the boss’s sister was completely addicted to tanning. She used to go to 3 or 4 different booths a day. One time, I was working and she came in for her usual fake n’ bake. So she went back and 20 minutes later she started yelling for help. Now I’m not going to go into details, but I had to call an ambulance to come pick her up because her contacts had melted to her eyes. WTF you ask? She was reading a book in the tanning bed. She wasn’t even wearing those silly goggles. What a tool. After college I did my first major move since I was seven. It wasn’t even that major. I booked it to Atlanta to start copywriting at the Creative Circus. The reason I chose CW was because I had already taken Photoshop and Quark (Quark was cool back then) in college. So I wanted to start a discipline from scratch. When I moved to Atlanta, I had this awesome Chevy Corsica. Very reliable. And since I had to move back in with Mom (let’s not talk about that) in order to even THINK of paying for ad school, it helped even more. (I lived 30 minutes away from the Circus. On bad days in Atlanta, that’s 2 hours, 30 minutes.) So when I graduated with a fresh, silly student book I decided to celebrate by selling my faithful auto. I put it up on Craigslist for $400 bucks. At this point, I need to remind you, that you and I are friends, and I would NEVER screw you over intentionally, let alone on accident. But I met this happy couple in a parking lot near Fatburger on Piedmont and handed over the keys. We took a spin around the lot to make sure she was in good running order (which it was, the car literally never broke down on me) and then we went our separate ways. I was 400 bucks the merrier. Halfway home, I get a call on my cell phone asking if I’ve ever had any trouble with the car. I knew it didn’t have a lot of life left in it, but I never expected it to start overheating 10 minutes after I left. Apparently, after firing up the A/C, the car begin to smoke and then eventually overheated. This makes sense to me, as I had NEVER used the air conditioning. I always thought that was a breakdown waiting to happen, so I’ve lived my whole life just rolling down the windows. These people were cool and understanding about it, and still thought that it was amazing that they got a car for 400 bucks. I just wanted to drive it into a lake. (That’s kind of a dream of mine, along with becoming a BBQ Judgemaster and sailing around the world.) So I left the Circus, one car short, and moved to Seattle, where I had an internship waiting at Publicis West. It was sweet, because we got to work on cool clients AND we got paid minimum wage. My art director and hetero-life mate, Jon Mueller and I, drove across the country to get there. With our first paycheck, we bought the best things we could think of. Lightsabers! I bought the limited edition Mace Windu version for $130 bones. Plenty of green left over for a few burgers at Dicks. In the world of Harry Potter, I am considered a Hufflepuff. It’s a relief to not be Slytherin (ambitious, but backstabbing), but not as cool as Gryffindor. (Brave.) What us Hufflepuffs have is loyalty. And just. I’ve never complained about this because I think it’s true. And while I still think I’m brave like a Gryffindor, my better qualities are in how I treat those close to me. This probably brings me to my second job in Washington DC. I worked at a tiny shop called Rosenthal Partners where I not only did some great work, but I met the greatest woman of my life. To anyone who has tried to lay down the law and forbid office romances, it’s a battle you can’t win. Not only did she move across the country to Boulder Colorado with me, she also did all of the packing herself. So next time you see her, give her a pat on the back and buy her a pint. Cause sooner or later, my lovely wife will probably do it again. And guess what!? She did. At least twice so far. We moved to Atlanta three and half years into our Boulder stay. I wish I could say I loved Boulder, but it’s hard to use the word love when you’re working 90 hours a week. (Although I wouldn’t change a minute of it.) So, instead of sacrificing my marriage to that lovely woman mentioned above to a 9 to midnight job, we moved to Atlanta. And there, we (she) gave birth to the most amazing bundle of intertwined DNA I’ve ever seen in my life. Kai Koehler, my son, is my greatest work. A blond haired, blue eyed, chill dude with a love of trucks. Seriously, he can name more trucks than I even knew existed. He knows what a combine harvester is. He knows the difference between a tracked tractor and a hay bailor. (Baylor? I don’t know how to spell that, but I’m sure Kai does.) So, Atlanta was fun, but I don’t think the south is where we’re supposed to be. So after much agency vetting, we packed the dog, packed the kid, packed the couch, and packed the dishes and moved to the great Pacific Northwest. Home of the Sasquatch, I started working at Wongdoody. Battled the housing market and bought a house with a yard. Even bought an electric lawnmower. You know, those things are just an exercise in not running over the power cord, and I’m pretty sure the neighbors don’t see an electric mower as a sign of masculinity. That’s okay. Maybe I shouldn’t be mowing with my shirt off…so…A couple years into Seattle and now I’m up to a couple of kids. Introducing the OTHER heir to my kingdom, Ezra Oliver Koehler! Unlike Kai, he’s a dark skinned, dark haired, easy going little toot machine. Like Kai, he wakes up in good cheer and has infectious laughter. Not sure what he’s laughing at, but I hope he keeps it up. Well, at Wongdoody I had a great time working on Alaska Airlines with Russell Wilson. The Seattle International Film Festival. Papa Murphy’s Take N’ Bake. A bunch of weird projects like Warp Dookie. (Yup, it ran during Siff.) And, finally, a couple short Super Bowl spots. As of this writing, they haven’t run, but who knows. Hopefully they’ll go over well. Simple. Nothing flashy. Nothing too contrived. More to come…

A few things besides advertising that I’m into.

  • Tiny Office Drones
  • Dad Things
  • Legos
  • Not my stepdad Gary!
  • That new pub that opened down the street

Video Games I’m currently playing

  • Friend Me Ps4 – Cocakoehler
  • Final Fantasy 15
  • Mario Kart Deluxe
  • Zelda BotW
  • Dragon Quest 7
  • Borderlands: Handsome Jack Collection

Books I’m currently reading

  • Oathbringer
  • Mistborn Trilogy
  • American Gods

Comic Books I’m currently reading

  • Walking Dead
  • Saga
  • Bone
  • Marvel/DC

Great TV

  • Fargo
  • Stranger Things
  • Bob’s Burgers
  • That Game of Thrones
  • Arrested Development
  • Last Man on Earth
  • Home Movies
  • It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
  • Archer
  • Twin Peaks

Music I Dig

  • Passion Pit
  • Chance (the Rapper)
  • Frank Ocean
  • Hall and Oates
  • Mates of State
  • Oh Land


The Resume

EXPERIENCE

Publicis 2017 – Present

ACD

Aflac, T-Mobile

Wongdoody 2014 – 2017

Copywriter/ACD

Alaska Airlines, Amazon, SIFF, Papa Murphy’s

BBDO 2012 – 2014

ACD

Georgia Lottery, AT&T

Crispin Porter and Bogusky 2008 – 2012

Associate Creative Director 2011 – 2012

Senior Copywriter  2010 – 2011

Copywriter 2008 – 2010

Old Navy, Volkswagen, DJ Hero, Burger King, Dominos, Best Buy, American Express

Rosenthal Partners 2006 – 2008

Copywriter

Washington Improv Theater, MASN, Baltimore Orioles, Washington Nationals, Honest Tea

Publicis West 2005 – 2006

Intern Copywriter

T-Mobile, Dish Network, Washington Lottery

EDUCATION

Creative Circus

Certificate with Concentration in Copywriting

East Tennessee State University

Major in Mass Communications. Minor in Art. Minor in Psychology.

(For more work, just email me, or visit http://vimeo.com/cocakoehler/albums)

The Contact Info

Find Me

Tim Koehler
12545 Phinney Ave. N.
Seattle WA, 98133

Call Me

Telephone/424.332.6018

The Celebrity Kingdom

Welcome to the Celebrity Kingdom, where nature’s most famous celebs become even more famous. Below are just a few of the rare sightings that you’ll see before you click on the link at the bottom.

Swan Penn – Dead Man Squawking

Barrack O’llama – Yes…we…cam-el!

Halley Beary – Monster’s Maul

Bat Damon – The Legend of Batter Vance

Lion Gosling - Hey girl, can I share my disemboweled zebra with you?

Rat LeBlanc – How you doing?

Catherine Zebra Jones - The Mask of Burro

http://thecelebritykingdom.tumblr.com/